As long as we put in our best effort, it is good enough.November 22, 2013
So before I sleep maybe let me write down what actually happen today.
Not that it's something very serious or important or worth noting down, but I thought maybe it will be good to write whatever I feel down here because I know I haven't been doing much of it lately and I also have been writing lesser and lesser about my emotions throughout the years of blogging life. I know some of you guys might think that I've changed (from some comments that I get since last year) but actually I did not. I guess I'll leave this and address this on another entry.
So anyway, today I went for my IPT-IPPT session! Okay, for those who didn't know (which I think most of you don't)... We, as a combat fit guys, need to pass our IPPT yearly. It's kinda like the physical fitness test (NAPFA test) lah which we all took it during primary school/secondary school etc etc.
However, I did managed to pass my IPPT last year when I go back for my ICT (reservist) in my own camp. Then for this year, I was worried that I cannot pass, I don't know why! But last time normally I never really train much I also can pass one! Hahaha! Same goes to last year, I never train much at all but I pass eh!
So I was worried this year that I cannot pass and I cannot take it during my ICT because I deferred it away due to my school, so I decided to sign up for IPT.
IPT is something like you go for evening training in certain camp then they will train you and hopefully you will pass by the 10th training session. And the standard of passing will also be lowered abit. So I'm like, okay... Maybe I should just go because sometimes I'll get super lazy to train myself.
Although I tried to go for run often but you know when it's raining (or something cropped up) then cannot go for run what. Want me to run in the rain meah! Crazy!
But if you go for the training, even when it rains right, there will be shelter and all.
So at least I know I confirm will train if I go. Therefore I decided to go and because I delayed for pretty long, so I only got 1 month to clear all my training session, so from end of October till Today, I went for the training 3 times a week (even on saturday).
Sigh, firstly I must say it was pretty dreadful at first because I went alone without any friends and I feel damn weird without my friends around. It's really just very awkward to go alone for the first few times lah. But after that I got used to it already.
Secondly, I cannot dye my hair to other colours other than brown. They didn't have this rule or obligation that you cannot have coloured hair when you wanna come for the training, but basically everyone has black hair there and I didn't want to feel so "attract attention" and stuff so I decided to like tone down and just have brown hair, which I seriously can't wait to change. It's really boring to see everyone there in black hair and making me the odd one out. I think partly is also because all of them are working adults already, so most of them cannot have coloured hair. Hahaha! But even with my brown hair, people are already staring. So what will happen if I have blue/silver hair? Not say I'm trying to fit in, but the uneasiness is not what I want when go for this kind of training.
Thirdly, it is the sian-ness of burning away the days I need to go for training because it starts around 7pm and ends around 9pm and when I reach home it's around 10pm, and that is when I have my dinner. Omg. Very tiring one really. I mean I would love to not to choose to go on Saturday but I've no choice too.
Although, I know I'm not the only one going through this, but yeah ranting does makes me feel better hahaha. So just allow me to continue lololol!
But apart from all these, I can say that even though it is pretty dreadful to go for the training, I think that at least when I go, I get to keep myself healthy and exercise and sweat like crazy. Which is a good thing hor!
I mean that's the only thing I can tell (or lie to) myself to make me feel happier right when going for the training! So rather than looking on the negative side, I try to always look at the bright side lah. And it works!!!! So in a short span of time, I went for all the training sessions although sometimes feeling very reluctant but at least I know I'm exercising and keeping myself fit and healthy!
Anyhow, today is actually the last session, which is also when we need to take IPPT test to see if you can pass after all the trainings!
I didn't go for work today because I think I needed to rest more lol, so I slept enough and to be honest, I wasn't very confident of passing it from the start because I feel like when I think I can pass my Standing Board Jump, I cannot pass my Chin Up. And when I can pass my Chin Up, I think I cannot pass my Shuttle Run wtf. Like that, you all understand anot? Hahahahah!
And I was so nervous the whole day and the day before, because I wanna pass so badly.
Because I don't wanna waste any more time to go for another 8 RT (remedial training) and also I want to dye my hair already!!! So it's quite pressurising for me.
And honestly speaking, I'm damn bad at handling pressure most of the time because I'll be damn nervous and I will feel like lao sai! HAHAHAHAHA! But anyway, to cut the story short. I went for my IPT-IPPT test and......... Chin Up, I pass! Sit up, I pass! Shuttle run........ I FAIL.
Omg! How can I even fail shuttle run which nobody ever fail one!
And I retry it for like 4 times wtf. Still fail by 2 seconds okay! I mean the PTI was like, "if you want you can retry" but I'm like..... "Omg I don't have energy already" because I still need to run 2.4km! Anyway, Standing Board Jump....... FAIL ALSO! By like 3-4 cm omggggggg.
Just kill me. So I'm like, wondering if I still need to retry cause they allow me to but thinking about my shuttle run, I run like 4 times but still same timing, I think I just forget it.
Not like I didn't try, I tried my best already.
Then I went for my 2.4km run, I was feeling quite upset and I didn't manage to run well also lah. But even if I run to a pass timing, overall also fail. :(
Surprisingly, I didn't really feel sad or feel like crying or devastated or anything after the whole thing ended. Just alittle dejected I guess.
I don't know why last time I can pass so easily without training and why this time cannot. I also wonder if all the time I spent going for the training is worthwhile (which it is lah but when at that moment you will think a lot one) and I'm now thinking whether should I just faster go complete my 8 RT training and get over and done with or should I just try to take IPPT again. All these keep going through my mind but I was telling myself that I did tried my best and so I shouldn't be sad and blame myself or anything.
I think we all know the best whether we ourselves did tried our best when we do something. And if we did, we shouldn't be sad or angry if it doesn't turn out the way we want it to be. As long as we put in our best effort, it is already very commendable!
I always tell myself this since young.... everyone is good at something and not everyone is the same, so if you did badly for some stuff which you're totally not very good at, it's okay. At least you tried.
Like for example;
I'm really not born the same as those typical guys who loves doing sports or play basketball/soccer but whenever I have to face things like this, I will go face it. But I know I'm good at other things which some of them aren't. Like the army, I wanna prove to people to let them know I can make it and survive it though, and I did. Like IPPT last time, people think I confirm cannot pass, but in the end I get Silver award!
So it's all about giving your best. And I feel that this time round I didn't pass is because I might be too nervous and also maybe I need more training! And probably lack of some luck as well. Hahaha! But it's okay, it's either I go for the RT sessions or I train myself. But I think I might wanna go the RT session because I'll be more motivated and discipline to train.
Life is really not fair, so we just gotta give and take. Sometimes we need to put in more effort in something and less in others. I guess it basically applies to everyone. :)